The Photographer at work

Thanks to all who helped me celebrate my 30 years with a 3 day party. As for now though, i'm going to sleep the next 3 days to recover. I'm too old for this shit.

Go Nuts

pitcher in motion
Originally uploaded by JT66

I'm not as good with the photoshop as some others but here's a little something i just finished putting together. You wanted pics hero so you got em.

Duck, Duck, your mom

Mallard-Oil
Originally uploaded by JT66

i figured its been awhile since i posted anything so i guess i'll go with another pic. Its not that good but i've been trying some different looks using the snapart. Any comments or criticisms are welcome. I've got a few new ones too on my flickr page if anyone wants to take a look.

Zootastic

Went to the Detroit Zoo yesterday. Took lots of pics, saw hero get attacked by a bird, even got to slither a bit. Good times. This is really a test post as i'm trying to post the pick from flikr. We'll see how it goes.

Alienskin Snapart

Here's one for ya Law Girl

Livin the Low Carb Lifestyle

I forgot to take meat and cheese with me for the weekend so i had to resort to drastic measures. I love turkey.....

Sans Goat

I figured since amy was so unhappy with her pic that i'd post a bad one of me to make her feel better. My head is Massive and i look like i'm twelve without the goat. Let the burning begin!

Cross-Process

I've been working on a new processing technique.
Any Ideas?

Livin the High Life

Just a trim please....

This is what people do when there's margaritas involved.

don't talk crap to the guy who takes the Pictures

How bout these then?

Are these any better?

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

J-E-L-L-O

Too much free time

Its just another lazy easter Sunday. Watchin the Masters playin with some photos. I still can't get stuff on the web to look like it does on my monitor. Anybody have ideas on how to fix that. Anyway, this is my first processed image from last night. Your criticisms are welcomed. Not about Hero of course, but about the image. More pics to come as i finish them.

They're Baaack!!!!

Weeknights at 7:00 on ESPN Classic.

Worst to First

I Win!!! I like this game, we should play it more. I'd just like to give you all a chance to bow down to my genius. Maybe not genius, how bout a whole lot of luck. Either way i still came back from the basement after the first weekend to claim victory in the end. I'm going to go roll in all the money i'm not going to get paid from all you bastards.

I got up at 6:30 this morning and worked out. How F'ed up is that?

I feel like a gansta...

So today i participated in my first drive by shooting. I have to say it's quite a rush. The anticipation as you start to slow roll up to your target, the release when fire off the first few shots (Insert joke about me and somebodies mom), and the euphoria after it's all over. Its kind of like sex, except for the fact that it only took 20 seconds. I'm good for at least 30 maybe even 45 if I've been drinking. Actually it wasn't all that exciting. My dad wanted me to take some pictures of crap that lady, the one renting his house, did to the outside of his house. He told me to be inconspicuous but that was kind of hard with the giant white lens sticking out of the passenger side of jaysons car.

Tell me she's not the cutest dog....I dare you

First Macro Shoot

Not sure that I really like it. The colors are funky on the web. Sorry, i'm mostly posting this cause i don't have much else to say. Hey, it's better than posting nothing at all.

Comments

So i switched over to the new blogger and now i cant get to my comments. Also, i can't remember my haloscan login to get them. I think when i changed over the code for the haloscan went bye bye. I need help and i need it fast or else all the times you guys ripped on me over the past year will go into blogger pergatory.

JT figured out how to change colors. Notice the house colors. They are not exact but give me a break, its my first time messing with HTML.

I needs help

So i'd like to know how to change the background color on this blog thing. Any Ideas as to how i would do that? Oh, if someone helps me i promise to post more. thank you and good night

Van Gogh i am not...

Monday

My life is pretty much lame. I sit home and play with my computer and watch tv. I basically have my week planned out by what shows are on which night. Is that sad? It may be but i guess i like it that way. So, if anyone needs me i'll be sittin on the couch watchin my monday night lineup of how i met your mother, 24, and what about brian. Good Times, Good Times.

i think I'm going to start posting more. Where have i been the last several months? No where, doing nothing. Why haven't i posted anything? Cause i'm lazy and i really haven't had anything to say. I'll try harder this year, i promise. Its been so long since i've posted that it took me 10 minutes to log in because i couldn't remember my password. Its just sad

NEW PIC - What do you guys think?

JT doesn't rake pots, he carries a tiny mexican lawn crew in his pocket that rakes them for him.

JT doesn't chew his food, he just re-raises it until the nutrients fold into his stomach.

Damn the MAN

Sorry folks i had to drop off the grid for a few months. I was being actively searched for by the man. Why you ask? Apparently if you don't pay a ticket they start looking for you. It was kind of exciting. NOT!! This is the first time i have ever had a bench warrant. thats pretty sweet. Also i was driving with a suspended license. If i would have gotten pulled over i was going to the pokey. But everythings cool now, i actually called and payed the ticket and got my license taken care of. I go away now, talk to ya in a month or so.

A good week for Sport

Team Bush League started its second season on monday the same way we started off last season, with a dramatic victory. Unlike last season we began monday's game with only 5 guys and one of them was a brabant. Its should be a good season. Our next game is on monday at 6:30. Come out and give us kids a little support, we will not disappoint. If nothin else we're definitely funny to watch.
On thursday my partner and i continued our dominance over the rest of the AF golf league. We killed our competion and took all six pts possible to get our lead up to 12. Oh, did i mention that i shot a 39. Pretty F'in sweet if i do say so myself. Thats 4 shots under my average. My partner also dropped in a solid 52, 8 shots under his avg., to help lead us to victory. I think i was probably low man for the whole day. Thats 44 golfers. Not bad huh.
Now i'll try to get through the weekend so i can get to monday night and hoop and then wait a couple more days for golf. I live my life 3 days at a time. In the meantime i'll watch a little world cup and some golf to help me get by.

In the Swing of things

So after three weeks in a row of rain outs in my golf league we have now played three straight weeks. With my handicap finally established I am now getting into the thick of the competition. Through 4 weeks of golf my partner and I are now in first place with 20 pts. I have not lost any pts yet. I have not always played that well but have always grinded out a win. This week they posted everyone's averages for scoring and for putting. I am currently 3rd in scoring with a handicap of 9. Not bad but I know it will get lower. Surprisingly I'm 2nd in putting. All in all not that bad. I'll keep you all posted as the season wears on.

Here's what i've been up to. I go to the bar and play on the internet. Thursday's i play golf. Thats about it. It bit said really but i have fun with it. i have recently discovered the world of podcasts. I have to say that they are pretty f'in sweet. The latest ones i've been listening to are Science friday (thnx for the idea hero) and mugglecast(i can't get enough harry potter). Other than that i've just been workin for the man, listening to my pod all day long.

RELATIVELY speaking

Ladies and gentlemen I am back. I told myself i wouldn't post again until i was able to do so while sitting at the bar. And here we are, i'm sitting at the bar watching some playoff hockey and posting on my brand new beautiful Macbook pro. It is possibly the most badass thing ever. Its pretty sweet so far, except for the fact i have no idea how to use it. So i guess i have no reason not to post anymore. As for now i'll return to ogling the waitress's and drinking my soda but stay tuned, there will be more to come.

Dear Mr. Roloson,

If your wondering where your jock is at, it somewhere near the right post. If you don't know who that guy was that made you lose it, he is number 40 and his name is Hank.


Oh, and I still hate Canada

and on the 18th day he rose again.....

No moved boulders, no shroud of turin, no appearing to a prostitute, its just me returning from blogger pergitory. Its not that i didn't want to post or didn't have time to post, its just that i didn't have anything good to say. I still don't have anything whitty or funny to share but at least i put something up here. thats a big step for me. My bloggers block may be over. Their will be more to follow. Stay tuned kids.


oh yeah, its a little known fact that jesus's right arm is 4 inches longer than his left. Next time you look at cross check it, the right side is always longer. Its true, i read in the bible so you can take it as gospel.

Entourage

I think its time i get my own entourage. you know why........cause thats how I roll

The Dark Side

I am going to do it. I never thought I would even consider it but here we are. Simple, elegant, but packing a shitload of power. Its pretty much my dream women, lady by day, temptress by night. Who would ever have thought i'd find that in a MAC. The bottom line is that for the purposes i have for this beeatch a pc just won't do the trick. I am now going to turn in my lightsaber for one of a more fitting color. Just remember kids, I am not the only one. There are always two, a master and an apprentice.

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

Even Flow

So I'm going to a concert. I didn't so much decide i wanted to go. Apparently an executive decision was made and it doesn't matter what i think. Its cool i guess. the concert should be a good time. Oh did i mention by the way that after i was told i had to go i was also told i have to shell out 53 bucks. Thats kind of like your mom having sex with me and then telling me i have to pay her for it. not that i haven't payed your mom for sex before but still.


"I'm just bitchin"

Not so Puppy anymore

My little girl's all grown up. You know how i know?
She's bleeding all over my house. Its kind of grossing me out.
Anyone have any midol i can borrow?

you tell me i don't post. you get post.
you want sunset you get sunset

Madness

Its been a while kids. There have been a multitude of reasons why i haven't posted in a while. I've been to tired from all the ass kickings i've taken on the hardwood(basketball court you jackoffs, do not insert gay comment), it could be the 3 nights a week i spend at franks watchin the wings, it could be the time i spend at the Y workin out and workin on my game, it could be i have absolutely nothing to say about anything, or it could just be that i'm just lazy. Now that my life will basically be consumed by march madness for the next couple weeks i figured i'd get a post in real quick.
4 hours, thats all it took to fuck up my brackets. Next year i'm letting a chicken do the picks for me. I am a bit disappointed that for the first time in five years i can't sit at the bar for 13 hours a day and watch hoop. I did get like five hours in tonight but its just not the same. And then tomorrow if i want to watch hoop i have to deal with the throngs of dipshits drinking green beer.
Seriously, were you born in ireland? Are you religious? Are you a complete dumbass? Who the fuck was St. Patrick and what good did he do for the world. If he was first to cultivate the potato or something i might give him some props but he didn't so fucking relax. I did however learn about the longstanding tradition of putting green foodcoloring in beer. I hear thats it actually a trick that Patty stole from jesus to amaze the townsfolk. If you'll all remember a little scene with JC fooling his buddies by dropping a little red coloring into his water and passing it off as wine.
I'm not real sure what the fuck i'm talking about so don't pay any attention. Go out and have your fun, drink your green beer, have random sex with a wee little man wearing a tophat, his hands smelling of cabbage, and who repeatedly asks you to search his pants and find his pot of gold. His name is andy. Bring it on fair lasses, line up to kiss my blarney stone.

I'm just sayin

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

Thats right kids. Team Bush-League is 1-0 with a 26-21 victory. My stat line is as follows 1-2 for 3pts., 4 rbds, 1ast, and 1to. Did i mention that i banked the 3ball. It all counts the same i guess. As of right now we are tied for first place. Enjoy the next week while we can boys cause it proabably won't last. They can't take this one away from us.

Bush-League

Tomorrow night at 8pm our journey to infamy begins. Get your tickets while they last. There hasn't been this much hype for a team of all-stars since barcenlona in '92. I can promise that we will not disappoint. I can promise these things about my game; , I will throw up an airball, I will make the most of the 6 fouls i have to give, I will dribble the ball off my own leg, I will not jump(mostly cause I can't), and I will shoot til i'm on so just give me the god damn ball.

The most awkward night of my life

So here's whats goin on. I decide its a good idea to visit with the millers after leavin claddaugh. I figure i could play a little cranium or play some cards and everything would be cool. Oh, was i ever fucking wrong. so were playin cards, everyone else is drunk, and then jayson and rachel decide they want to fight. Amy and i go in the back room to hang out and give them there space. Did i mention that at this point i'm wearing a size small women's wife beater that only comes down to my belly button. Oh and amy, who was wearing said wife beater is now in a bra. So amy's husband shows up and wants to talk to her. Now i'm stuck in the back room by myself wearing a beater schemeing on how i can get out without getting in anyones way. My t and the grampa sweater are on the counter in the dining room along with my keys. Even if i get my key's i can't leave cause someones psycho husband is blocking me in. I'm trapped. So what do i do. I decide to document this occasion for all to see. So much for not having anything to blog about. Fucking brilliant!!

I am trapped. I can't get out. They are coming.............

I post cause I can

Grape Ape

I Didn't know.....til after the deal was made

Apparently my driveway is now fully controlled by a North Korean man. I didn't even know until after the deal was made. I thought I was buying some chopsticks. Fuck It, I'm moving to F'ing Canada. Thats how ashamed I am of the current leadership. And I fucking hate Canada.

I Love BUSH!!!!!

The pussy, not the president



I'm Just Sayin

Raindance........

how does this sound, 6 guys years past their prime decide they need to recapture the glory years and strap on the sneakers again for a little hoop league at the Y. I can't even type about it without laughing. None of us has played ball in years. Unless you count jp playin with dudes balls. Regardless we're going to get absolutely killed on a regular basis. I welcome the chance to be posterized. Do I think we can win a game? Not a shot in hell but I definitely think we'll be funny to watch. We do have to come up with a team name. Any suggestions? I believe the season starts on Monday Feb. 27. Mark that day on your calender. I guarentee it'll be worth your while to come watch. We also could use a few playa's if anyones interested.

I'm just sayin

XL

What I thought would be an otherwise boring superbowl turned interesting when money got involved. I love squares. I missed the first quarter by a last second field goal by the bastard of a seahawk kicker. He did save me at the end of the half when he missed a 51 yarder to earn 25 bones for the second quarter. So the final breakdown is as follows: 9 hours at the bar, potato skins, burrito, and about 4 gallons of diet pepsi for all of 2 bucks. The two that i used to buy the squares. My winnings went to waitress. 120% tip's not to bad. Oh, and i learned how to iron my clothes tonight. I need to look all good and professional at work. Hold on a second i've got a call. Its the Sandman i've got to......zzzzzzzzzzzz

Fuck you. Or don't. Oh no, definitely FUCK YOU. Whatever

The Bird

I need to start giving people the finger more. I don't use it nearly enough. Random thought I know, but stay with me. Its fun to do. People get exactly what you mean without having to say it. what kind of finger do you flip? I myself rock the thumb out when I flip it. I know some people go with the thumb tucked but it doesn't seem to be as emphatic of a fuck you. I may even work the double flip when i need an extra little somethin. So with two in the air I wish you all a good night and a good monday morning. Stick it to the man for me.


I'm just sayin

Roller Coaster of Love

I realized tonight after some discussion with friends that having sex with me is just like a roller coaster. Its kind of jerky, can make you sick, and only lasts for two minutes and ten seconds (and thats being generous). Then if you want to ride again you've got to wait an hour. I think from now on i'll start all fore play with this announcement :

"please unfasten your bra and panties, keep your arms and legs out of control, and secure all loose belonging. We'll see you back here in two minutes and ten seconds, and as always thank you for cumming on JT, america's roller coast."


I'm Just Sayin

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 80% Superman 75% Supergirl 75% Spider-Man 70% Robin 60% The Flash 60% Catwoman 55% Wonder Woman 50% Batman 45% Hulk 25% Iron Man 25%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

The Wisdom of my mentors

"If you don't talk to it you can't Fuck It"

Who says that? I guess i get the message. I need to be more outgoing and talkative with the ladies. I'm tryin, I'm just a bit shy. Damn, give a brother a break. "Fuck It, Or don't, Whatever"* See, I even quote my own sayings.




*copyright 2005, JT. The reusing of this quote without the express written permission of the author of the quote is subject to legal action. or at least quote me for Stu's sake.

Road Trip!!!!

I'd just like to say that I love it when a plan comes together. I wake up at 645 with a list of voice mails. i woke up in just enough time to shower and meet at jp's by 7. brian arrived soon after and we were off like a prom dress. we missed a few minutes of the game but thats what happens when spur of the moment road trips come up. To sum up the game, msu sucked in the second half and they lost. What matters is the trip not the destination. I learned a few things tonight. I learned that a van will fit through a tunnel meant for pedestrians only, I learned that arena seats are not meant for big people, I learned that there is nothing better than a late night QP w/chse, and I learned that I miss random road trips with the guys. Now its time to get LOST for a couple hours.

I get real bored at night

What do you do...............

.........when you hear rumors about people that are troubling. Do you seek answers? Do you just try not to give a shit? Do you second guess prior decisions? My initial reaction is to get really, really pissed. Then deeply hurt. Then pissed again. Then a mixture of 1 cup livid, 1 cup hurt, 1 cup "I'm an idiot", and then mix in a little "go fuck yourself" for good measure. Or hey, I could be wrong.


I'm just sayin

A vicious circle

I eat because I'm sad
I'm sad because I'm fat
I'm fat because I eat

Where was this when i needed it?

That the sky would lift
That I'd find my place
That I'd see your face in the door
And the sun would glint
An a time well spent
An a time that ain't no more

Taste the broken hearts
In the vacant lots
See the fruit that rots on the trees
Try to turn my head
Leave it all for dead
But it's in my mind always

Honey lately I've been way down
A load on my mind
Honey lately I've been way down
Load on my mind

Someone tell me where did it go
Darling I'm damned if i know
I seen that look in your eye
No-one ever gave it a chance
I could have said in advance
You saw it all at a glance
And goodbye

Like a fat kid playing dodgeball, i'm out. See you kids on sunday.

"For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move." -Robert Louis Stevenson

Oh, and by the way once again, like my forefathers before me, i have ventured into the land of the savages and made off with their buffalo and their women. But this time i didn't have to trade them fire water.

Roads go ever ever on

Where is my road going? North. First stop, the beautiful lakeside town of Frankfort for a visist with Dave and the fam. After that i'm not really sure. Theres plenty of road through this great state of ours. I think i just might try a few of them. My camera's been begging for some use and i think i'll give it to her. You never know, maybe she'll give me a few good ones. Now that that is settled lets find out what i've been up to as of late. Not really a whole lot i guess. Lots of late night web surfing and movie watching. I have also been studying for my certs. I guess its time i got my shit together. I guess goods things do come out of shitty situations. I think i might actually shave tonight. No more awful attempt at a dad beard. What can i say, i'm a late bloomer. I can't grow a beard to save my life. Sooner or later my balls will drop and my voice will deepen and i will become a man. Other than that all has been well. Lots of football, a trip to the Joe, almost being turned away trying to to cross the border back into the states, and pocket bullets. I've been playing cards a bit to much as of late. Not to mention i've seen rounders about a dozen times in the last few weeks. I think i'm going to take a run at it. My mind is clear and my game is tite. Lets see, i reloaded the ipod on saturday. I'm up to 15 gigs of music. not bad for a kid that didn't listen to music much before. there is however still a bunch of stuff that i need. My song of the day, Ben folds doing bitches aint shit. fucking brilliant. and now i leave with these words of wisdom, "Its immoral to let a sucker keep his money".

Oh, I know when to hold'em

Its amazing to me how good at cards i actually am. In 4 hours i managed to triple up. Not bad for a nights work. Finally i was able to actually have my head in the game and not somewhere else. Apparently I can shut my brain down to only concentrate on one thing at a time. I can control my ADD. Oh, is that something shiney over there...........five minutes later...............sorry, what was i talking about. Anyway I'm thinking of taking a road trip next weekend if anyone wants in. I'm off thursday thru sunday and need to get out of town for a while. Any Ideas?

First Pic of the New Year

Dusk At Woldumar
(I know it looks like one you've seen, but its a new high res shot i took this fall)

A fewThings I've learned this year

1. I am the most complacent person on the planet.
2. I hated my job for 12 full months and did nothing about it
2. I am not nearly as strong as I thought i was.
3. Things affect me a lot more than they used to.
4. I do have the ability to love
5. It is not true that if you don't use it, u lose it.
6. Life is much better with a soundtrack
7. All I really need are a few good friends
8. Some girls do fancy me, even though i'm a bit pudgy around the edges
9. I always no when to muck a losing hand at the table
10. 1 out and a 2% chance of winning is enough to see the river card in love
11. I love the two hour escape that a movie offers.
12. It is possible, if even for one incredible night, for life to be perfect, Worthy of a screenplay.
13. If you take enought pictures you will eventually have a few good ones.
14. I think my head has actually gotten bigger
15. I am fully able to rationalize anything to myself. It seems like a good idea at the time
16. I am so good at Ping Pong I'm almost Asian
17. My puppy will always love me, mostly because I feed her and scratch behind her ears

Next year I will........
1. Find a new job
2. Get my own place
3. not look for love because i hear things happen when you least expect them.
4. Learn to be more open
5. Take a lot more pictures
6. Take more roadtrips
7. Attempt to accomplish any or all of previous


Aut viam inveniam aut faciam - I will either find a way or make one

My Stupid Mouth..............

Even I am entitled to moments of weakness. Ideas sound so good at the time but hindsight always tells me i'm an idiot. sorry for that. bad idea. should have never brought it up or suggested it. not now. no way i could handle it. bad, bad idea. Sometimes i just shouldn't open my mouth or dial my fucking phone. 9 hours a day at work and all through the night is too much time for my head to be left to its own devices. Sorry I can't be a stronger person. what was I thinking. I guess i just wasn't. I guess i thought i needed some closure, something to make it easier. Its either i hurt now or hurt later. I think I'll choose now. fuck it, i got to fucking work in 45 fucking minutes. This sucks.......

Merry Xmas to all.....

Now that its christmas eve i feel like i can finally get into the christmas spirit. Considering that i've actually only bought 1 christmas present so far i think i better get moving. mad shopping tomorrow followed by some football and maybe some pong should do alot to get me in the holiday mood or at least give me something to do. Because it christmas time and at christmas you tell the truth i should tell all those that are in my life and those that aren't that you all help make me the person that i am and that without you all i don't have much. I love you all. Molly loves you all. Have a good christmas if i don't get to talk to you before then. Enjoy the time with the people you care about and i'll see you someday. Oh and Fuck you all, and fuck your mothers cause i know i did!!



.......and to all a good night

i was on your porch,
the smoke sank into my skin
so i came inside to be with you
and we talked all night,
about everything we could imagine
cause come the morning ill be gone
and as our eyes start to close
i turn to you and i let you know
that i..........

.......shouldn't post when i haven't slept. I may say something......

And the Goat plays on.........

I want to feel like that every day. I want to make someone feel that way. The happy that i feel after watching that is good. It makes you feel like that could actually be possible. Life seldom if ever imitates movie but theres always that chance. I need that. Whats it matter, its 2 am and i'm slap happy and felt like typing. I guess i can't fully convey what i'm talking about anyway. I guess i want just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. I have been working on my british accent and its bloody rubbish. Fuck you all. Let the Burns begin.


ps. if your going to attempt some type of burn just remember that i had sex with your mom in a very uncomfortable plac(not the back of a volkswagon)

Whoopsie Daisies!!

It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

You say it best
when you say nothing at all

Shootout...What the F

The one fucking wings game in the las two weeks that we didn't go to franks to watch and...... theres a fucking shootout. If i didn't have bad luck i'd have no luck at all. Dinner at the Claddaugh was real good though and the company was entertaining. Oh, and i got my first present of this holiday season. I gots some stuff to help with my nasty elbows, awesome. "It puts the scrub on its skin". Notting Hill and endless websurfing, can you think of a better way to spend a night. I love being nocturnal. (Awkward silence followed by elephant noise, which i must say have been especially good as of late)

Can't stop the Funk

I wish it was about george clinton or something but i just can't get out of this funk i'm in. You should hear the playlist i've been listening to. I didn't think it was bad but when pete heard what was on there he said it was kind of depressing. I guess he's right but it worked for the situation i guess. I'm going to change it to some more fun songs. Maybe some billy ocean, and some morris day and the mother fuckin time, and some cheezy 80's pop, and a little emo for good measure. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free. I definitely need some gordon lightfoot. My dog just pissed on my bed again. what the fuck!

Who's my HERO?

Like a 5 year old seeking the approval of his parents, I have patiently awaited this day. All is right with the world. I have been linked and it is good. I may even shed a little tear. Nope, it was just something in my eye but i still feel very honored to have even been considered. Time for some xmas movie and sleep, my nocturnality starts again tomorrow. Love actually is being my choice for tonight.

Fuck it, or don't, Whatever!

The only thing better than a drunk dial is.........

Me right now attempting to type. I wrote some stuff down just so that i would be able to remember what i wanted to say and i actually brought it home with me this time. I have to say that after five drinks i type real good. i'm in a zone right now. First of all I may have actually drunk dialed my sister. Who does that? Second, some girl took my reese's pieces from me before she even actually introduced herself. At that point she was dead to me. Real bush league that was. I also learned tonight that behind the secret door is another door and behind that door, not the secret garden that i was promised, was the back room. And my head was filled with such fantatstical ideas of what lay behind it that it was very anticlimatic to see some boxes. Some doors are just better off not being opened. the idea of them is better than whats really there. and C, I learned that the game is to not care about the game, that is the game. I can't even figure out what that means. I tried to find something to cut my ear off with but they wouln't give me anything. why u ask, cause i'm like fucking van gogh and shit. I drew the most beautiful landscape. I spent almost two hours on the shading of the upper peak. Molly calls, got to go. She misses you a lot. she wanted me to type that because she doesn't have fingers and therefore can't type. she just kind of "paws" at the keyboard. I am so awkward. I need to stop before i get real stupid. I am "Free Fallin"

I'll take 2 quarts of B- please

The first night of my nocturnality is going pretty well. I've had more enjoyable nights not sleeping but thats neither here nor there. First thing on my mind this evening is that at some point in my life i would actually like to use the movable armrest feature at ncg. Its genius really. It would save me a lot of time with my yawn, over the shoulder move. If nothing else i could take hero's advice and just put up a couple of armrests and use the seats as some form of couch and just lay down and watch my flick. I make absolutely no sense. Narnia was good. The bar was good. your mom was good. now i guess i have a couple hours of downtime to kill before work. Seeing as no one else is around at this hour i'll just talk to molly for a while. At least until she gets real bored and decides my socks are more interesting than me.

Who's the most beautiful girl in the whole world

Tonight I Dance

In honor of Shanny's 5 pt. endevor against the thrashers i shall now dance the irish jig.(If you could see me right now i'd be dancing a jig while my dog jumps around me and tries to hit me in my nuts) I guess she's a fan of the jig.

Sex is Easy, Love is Hard. Profound indeed

Just one double-click and i can't do it.
Just one push of a button and i can't do it.
I want to real bad but I know I can't do it.
Shit, Fuck, Shit!!!!!*

Think of me
Any way you want
I can be
The problem if that's easier
In your head
Move the pieces around
Things I said
Turn the memory upside down
And it makes it better I know
But sometimes it's hard to swallow

And in time I will fade away
In time I won't hear what you're saying
In time
But time takes time you know

*"Shit, Fuck, Shit": copyright 1995, jayson miller. any unauthorized us of this phrase is punishable by sex with originator of said phrase and believe me u won't shit right for a month.

Its 2 in the morning. I apologize to all that there was no late night drunk post last night. I had so many things to say that i had to write it down on a napkin at the bar but seeing as i left said napkin at the bar by the time i got home i had forgotten most of what i wanted to talk about. I do remember a few things so i will talk about them now. I need to get hobbies. I used the term miniscus while pouring rum into my diet coke and followed it up with a "theres some science for ya you fucking fuckers". Oh by the way all of you assholes that don't believe anyone uses the term contiguous to refer to the 48 states can kiss my sweet ass. And contrary to the rest of the worlds belief the Great War is not WWI but the deuce. You don't see them making movies or even ever talking about numero uno do ya. You know why. Cause nothing happened but some trench warfare. Hey if all you want is a guarantee i'll take a dump in this box and stamp a guarentee on it but all you'll have is a guaranteed piece of shit. Wait no, it has to be your bull. Anyway I would also like to thank my people for putting up with me last night. I tend to ramble and say lots of random shit when i've been drinking. It was really good to let loose a bit. It definitely lifted the spirits a bit. Plus the cookie monster was delicious. I would also like to let everyone know that i looked damn sexy at the bar tonight. The blazer and the faux hawk were a big hit. I should have taken a picture or something. I got hit on by some old chick wearing a cheetah. Seeing as she was obviously a fan of endangered animals i asked her if she had ever seen a cheeger in the wild. In case u don't know a cheeger is a cross between a cheetah and a tiger. It is the 4x4 of the animal kingdom. It is real fast and has retractable claws so it can climb real good too. Its pretty much my favorite animal. Like all of the other animals on Doc Moreau's island it is breeded for its skillz and magic. Its amazing how long one person can type about almost nothing in particular. I've talked for this long before but never tickled the keys for nearly this long unless you wanted to refer to my junk as "the keys". Does that make sense. Do I ever make sense. Oh sorry got to go, i got to take this call. Its the sandman, he says its time for sleepy. Football tomorrow at franks if anyones interested.

Its Friday and I ain't got shit to do..........

Tonight I drink.
I drink to faith.
I drink to magic.
I drink to someday.
I drink to #3.
I just hope somebody takes my phone.

(I can almost guarantee I end up making snow angels face first wearing only a man-thong. Who doesn't want to see that.)

These are The keys to my heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Laugh at this

For Ms. Barnard who could use a laugh desperately here are a few things u may find funny:
1. I tripped at work today and did the whole trip into a jog look back to see what made me trip thing.
2. My head is so big that i frighten small children
3. Molly took another whiz on my bed last night
4. I could pull my pants down. that would be funny for you, awkward for me yes but funny none the less.
5. See ryhme at the end of number four
6. I could stop by and you could kick me in the nuts. that would be funny
7. I work at the Homo Depot.
8. I can post the picture of me wearing the man-thong
9. Think of a condor in a wetsuit wearing a backpack made of a leprechaun that continuously spews lucky Charms.
10. a rabbi, a priest, and your mom go into a bar.....................................and your mom says rectum, damn near killed'm!!!!

thats all i got for now, i hope it helps

All I want for Xmas is............

11. To tell the truth(because its christmas and at christmas you tell the truth)
10. Van Gogh's "Olive Trees"
9. A Brithish Accent
8. Elisha Cuthbert
7. "Real Genius" on DVD
6. Mp3's- Gordon lightfoot(sundown, edmund), Rolling Stones(U can't always get what u want), David Gray(all of it), Temptations(just my imagination), and anything else that people think i should listen to.
5. Socks & Underwear
4. Grampa Sweaters
3. Some ingenius device, probably from QVC, that can shut off my thoughts when I want it to..
2. A new Job. If anyone has any ideas please let me know(contrary to popular belief, manwhoring is not a profitable indevor for me so please do not bother to suggest it. I tried It and the women weren't impressed with my skillz. I had to resort to giving it away for free and no one wants that either so i'm pretty much SOL. The magic is gone)
1b. A Cloak
1a. A Girl. At this point i'm not going to be picky so pretty much anyone interested in me will do. I don't even care if they have an eye patch, one leg, or a birthmark on there cheek that looks remarkably like the edmund fitzgerald. So people go forth and find me a chubby chaser that likes big heads, stupid jokes, and puppies. Make sure u tell them i have a puppy. Though it hasn't worked for me in the past I feel that it is still a big selling point for me so use it. Good luck with this one. maybe you will have more luck than i have had. This present would be better than the G.I. Joe Aircraft carrier that I got in 3rd grade.

Other than that I would like a red ryder bee-bee gun, aMogwai, a new swimming pool, some stationary(I'm short on staplers), something pretty, a miracle, a subscription to the jam of the month club, and I'm sure there's something else that I'm forgetting so u think of it.

Fortune hunting

My search for my fortune continues.......
Friday we got some chinese for lunch and I decided to tempt fate again and get me some cookie. One fortune is ok, two even better, but 15 is perfect (plus i couldn't actually eat any more cookies). My fortunes are as follows:
-Ignorance never settles a question
-A good time to start something new(2)(your damn right it is, I fear change)
-You are going to have a very comfortable old age(I hope so)
-Luck is coming your way(If I didn't have bad luck i'd have no luck at all)
-You will travel far and wide, both for pleasure and business(sounds good)
-Ancient sites beckon you to hit the road soon(3)(promising)
-You are careful and systematic in your business arrangements(bullshit)
-You will be unusually successful in business(don't care)
-You will do well to expand your business(what business?)
-You have a natural grace and great consideration of others(No shit)
-You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems(bullshit)
-Magic time is created when an unconventional person comes to stay(few people have ever
seen magic time but this is by far the truest fortune i've gotten. Its not really a fortune but i
thought it was cool)

all in all not a bad batch of fortunes. I have decided though that I'm going to make my own fortunes. Fuck the fascist fortune cookie making sons of bitch's. I do like their cookies but that piece of papers matters to me no longer.

As Fortune would have it.....

I have some chinese for dinner and at the end of the meal i get a fortune cookie. I really like fortune cookies. As I crack it open to see what bit of wisdom these cookie people are going to drop on me this is what it says. "You will be successful someday". Well thank u very fucking much. Someday, when the fuck is someday. I need answers u smug, philosiphizing bastards. Even if i put the usual "in bed" at the end of it it doesn't help cause that someday has already happened years ago and is still happening today. I am a virtual casanova with the ladies (or maybe the only way i get ladies is virtual). I'm not going to brag but a slow, soft kiss goes along way. Sorry kids no more secrets today as I have to keep some bit of mystery about myself. I shall now retire to my nerdery and figure out how to type real fast.

You know what andy likes. when people actually leave comments. i need some feedback on my pictures. If u like say so and if you don't say so. i just need some honesty. Give a brother a break. Also I can't get that F'ing song from rent out of my head. anyone have any ideas for a new song i can torture my brain with?

Pic of the Week

Follow Your own Path

And the search continues..........For what u ask? THE STORY!!!!!!
In the meantime i guess i'll just work on myself and believe me I gots lots to work on. My belly, my job, my self esteem, my life to name just a few. And so it begins...............

The Goblet Is on Fire

Yesterday was a good day. I had a flat tire that i had to fix in the freezing cold. then my car battery was dead and luckly somebody had jumper cables. then i it took two hours to get new tires on my car. But I did have a solid open faced roast beef sandwich smothered in gravy, and i did get plenty of assistance with changing the tire, and i did get to play some guitar and listen to some piano. Good times! Then only downside of yesterday was the five hour sleep that ended up being a two hour nap. But I guess i can sleep when i'm dead. And then comes the peak of the festivities, the Potter. It was "real" sweet. It was everything i thought it would be and some. There were a few things i thought they could have done better but i'll wait to discuss those when everyone has seen it. Spoiler: If you haven't seen it, the Diggory dies. I swear i amlost heard a sob from pete when he met his on screen demise.

Good day
I said Good Day!

"It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them"
-George Eliot

I Love the fall

This falls into the places I like Category. Its not a very good shot but i wanted to capture the place more than make it look good.

Heres your post

SHE MAKES ME SMILE OUT LOUD.