As Fortune would have it.....

I have some chinese for dinner and at the end of the meal i get a fortune cookie. I really like fortune cookies. As I crack it open to see what bit of wisdom these cookie people are going to drop on me this is what it says. "You will be successful someday". Well thank u very fucking much. Someday, when the fuck is someday. I need answers u smug, philosiphizing bastards. Even if i put the usual "in bed" at the end of it it doesn't help cause that someday has already happened years ago and is still happening today. I am a virtual casanova with the ladies (or maybe the only way i get ladies is virtual). I'm not going to brag but a slow, soft kiss goes along way. Sorry kids no more secrets today as I have to keep some bit of mystery about myself. I shall now retire to my nerdery and figure out how to type real fast.