NEW PIC - What do you guys think?

JT doesn't rake pots, he carries a tiny mexican lawn crew in his pocket that rakes them for him.

JT doesn't chew his food, he just re-raises it until the nutrients fold into his stomach.

Damn the MAN

Sorry folks i had to drop off the grid for a few months. I was being actively searched for by the man. Why you ask? Apparently if you don't pay a ticket they start looking for you. It was kind of exciting. NOT!! This is the first time i have ever had a bench warrant. thats pretty sweet. Also i was driving with a suspended license. If i would have gotten pulled over i was going to the pokey. But everythings cool now, i actually called and payed the ticket and got my license taken care of. I go away now, talk to ya in a month or so.

A good week for Sport

Team Bush League started its second season on monday the same way we started off last season, with a dramatic victory. Unlike last season we began monday's game with only 5 guys and one of them was a brabant. Its should be a good season. Our next game is on monday at 6:30. Come out and give us kids a little support, we will not disappoint. If nothin else we're definitely funny to watch.
On thursday my partner and i continued our dominance over the rest of the AF golf league. We killed our competion and took all six pts possible to get our lead up to 12. Oh, did i mention that i shot a 39. Pretty F'in sweet if i do say so myself. Thats 4 shots under my average. My partner also dropped in a solid 52, 8 shots under his avg., to help lead us to victory. I think i was probably low man for the whole day. Thats 44 golfers. Not bad huh.
Now i'll try to get through the weekend so i can get to monday night and hoop and then wait a couple more days for golf. I live my life 3 days at a time. In the meantime i'll watch a little world cup and some golf to help me get by.

In the Swing of things

So after three weeks in a row of rain outs in my golf league we have now played three straight weeks. With my handicap finally established I am now getting into the thick of the competition. Through 4 weeks of golf my partner and I are now in first place with 20 pts. I have not lost any pts yet. I have not always played that well but have always grinded out a win. This week they posted everyone's averages for scoring and for putting. I am currently 3rd in scoring with a handicap of 9. Not bad but I know it will get lower. Surprisingly I'm 2nd in putting. All in all not that bad. I'll keep you all posted as the season wears on.

Here's what i've been up to. I go to the bar and play on the internet. Thursday's i play golf. Thats about it. It bit said really but i have fun with it. i have recently discovered the world of podcasts. I have to say that they are pretty f'in sweet. The latest ones i've been listening to are Science friday (thnx for the idea hero) and mugglecast(i can't get enough harry potter). Other than that i've just been workin for the man, listening to my pod all day long.

RELATIVELY speaking

Ladies and gentlemen I am back. I told myself i wouldn't post again until i was able to do so while sitting at the bar. And here we are, i'm sitting at the bar watching some playoff hockey and posting on my brand new beautiful Macbook pro. It is possibly the most badass thing ever. Its pretty sweet so far, except for the fact i have no idea how to use it. So i guess i have no reason not to post anymore. As for now i'll return to ogling the waitress's and drinking my soda but stay tuned, there will be more to come.

Dear Mr. Roloson,

If your wondering where your jock is at, it somewhere near the right post. If you don't know who that guy was that made you lose it, he is number 40 and his name is Hank.


Oh, and I still hate Canada

and on the 18th day he rose again.....

No moved boulders, no shroud of turin, no appearing to a prostitute, its just me returning from blogger pergitory. Its not that i didn't want to post or didn't have time to post, its just that i didn't have anything good to say. I still don't have anything whitty or funny to share but at least i put something up here. thats a big step for me. My bloggers block may be over. Their will be more to follow. Stay tuned kids.


oh yeah, its a little known fact that jesus's right arm is 4 inches longer than his left. Next time you look at cross check it, the right side is always longer. Its true, i read in the bible so you can take it as gospel.

Entourage

I think its time i get my own entourage. you know why........cause thats how I roll

The Dark Side

I am going to do it. I never thought I would even consider it but here we are. Simple, elegant, but packing a shitload of power. Its pretty much my dream women, lady by day, temptress by night. Who would ever have thought i'd find that in a MAC. The bottom line is that for the purposes i have for this beeatch a pc just won't do the trick. I am now going to turn in my lightsaber for one of a more fitting color. Just remember kids, I am not the only one. There are always two, a master and an apprentice.

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

Even Flow

So I'm going to a concert. I didn't so much decide i wanted to go. Apparently an executive decision was made and it doesn't matter what i think. Its cool i guess. the concert should be a good time. Oh did i mention by the way that after i was told i had to go i was also told i have to shell out 53 bucks. Thats kind of like your mom having sex with me and then telling me i have to pay her for it. not that i haven't payed your mom for sex before but still.


"I'm just bitchin"

Not so Puppy anymore

My little girl's all grown up. You know how i know?
She's bleeding all over my house. Its kind of grossing me out.
Anyone have any midol i can borrow?

you tell me i don't post. you get post.
you want sunset you get sunset

Madness

Its been a while kids. There have been a multitude of reasons why i haven't posted in a while. I've been to tired from all the ass kickings i've taken on the hardwood(basketball court you jackoffs, do not insert gay comment), it could be the 3 nights a week i spend at franks watchin the wings, it could be the time i spend at the Y workin out and workin on my game, it could be i have absolutely nothing to say about anything, or it could just be that i'm just lazy. Now that my life will basically be consumed by march madness for the next couple weeks i figured i'd get a post in real quick.
4 hours, thats all it took to fuck up my brackets. Next year i'm letting a chicken do the picks for me. I am a bit disappointed that for the first time in five years i can't sit at the bar for 13 hours a day and watch hoop. I did get like five hours in tonight but its just not the same. And then tomorrow if i want to watch hoop i have to deal with the throngs of dipshits drinking green beer.
Seriously, were you born in ireland? Are you religious? Are you a complete dumbass? Who the fuck was St. Patrick and what good did he do for the world. If he was first to cultivate the potato or something i might give him some props but he didn't so fucking relax. I did however learn about the longstanding tradition of putting green foodcoloring in beer. I hear thats it actually a trick that Patty stole from jesus to amaze the townsfolk. If you'll all remember a little scene with JC fooling his buddies by dropping a little red coloring into his water and passing it off as wine.
I'm not real sure what the fuck i'm talking about so don't pay any attention. Go out and have your fun, drink your green beer, have random sex with a wee little man wearing a tophat, his hands smelling of cabbage, and who repeatedly asks you to search his pants and find his pot of gold. His name is andy. Bring it on fair lasses, line up to kiss my blarney stone.

I'm just sayin

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

Thats right kids. Team Bush-League is 1-0 with a 26-21 victory. My stat line is as follows 1-2 for 3pts., 4 rbds, 1ast, and 1to. Did i mention that i banked the 3ball. It all counts the same i guess. As of right now we are tied for first place. Enjoy the next week while we can boys cause it proabably won't last. They can't take this one away from us.

Bush-League

Tomorrow night at 8pm our journey to infamy begins. Get your tickets while they last. There hasn't been this much hype for a team of all-stars since barcenlona in '92. I can promise that we will not disappoint. I can promise these things about my game; , I will throw up an airball, I will make the most of the 6 fouls i have to give, I will dribble the ball off my own leg, I will not jump(mostly cause I can't), and I will shoot til i'm on so just give me the god damn ball.

The most awkward night of my life

So here's whats goin on. I decide its a good idea to visit with the millers after leavin claddaugh. I figure i could play a little cranium or play some cards and everything would be cool. Oh, was i ever fucking wrong. so were playin cards, everyone else is drunk, and then jayson and rachel decide they want to fight. Amy and i go in the back room to hang out and give them there space. Did i mention that at this point i'm wearing a size small women's wife beater that only comes down to my belly button. Oh and amy, who was wearing said wife beater is now in a bra. So amy's husband shows up and wants to talk to her. Now i'm stuck in the back room by myself wearing a beater schemeing on how i can get out without getting in anyones way. My t and the grampa sweater are on the counter in the dining room along with my keys. Even if i get my key's i can't leave cause someones psycho husband is blocking me in. I'm trapped. So what do i do. I decide to document this occasion for all to see. So much for not having anything to blog about. Fucking brilliant!!

I am trapped. I can't get out. They are coming.............

I post cause I can

Grape Ape

I Didn't know.....til after the deal was made

Apparently my driveway is now fully controlled by a North Korean man. I didn't even know until after the deal was made. I thought I was buying some chopsticks. Fuck It, I'm moving to F'ing Canada. Thats how ashamed I am of the current leadership. And I fucking hate Canada.

I Love BUSH!!!!!

The pussy, not the president



I'm Just Sayin

Raindance........

how does this sound, 6 guys years past their prime decide they need to recapture the glory years and strap on the sneakers again for a little hoop league at the Y. I can't even type about it without laughing. None of us has played ball in years. Unless you count jp playin with dudes balls. Regardless we're going to get absolutely killed on a regular basis. I welcome the chance to be posterized. Do I think we can win a game? Not a shot in hell but I definitely think we'll be funny to watch. We do have to come up with a team name. Any suggestions? I believe the season starts on Monday Feb. 27. Mark that day on your calender. I guarentee it'll be worth your while to come watch. We also could use a few playa's if anyones interested.

I'm just sayin

XL

What I thought would be an otherwise boring superbowl turned interesting when money got involved. I love squares. I missed the first quarter by a last second field goal by the bastard of a seahawk kicker. He did save me at the end of the half when he missed a 51 yarder to earn 25 bones for the second quarter. So the final breakdown is as follows: 9 hours at the bar, potato skins, burrito, and about 4 gallons of diet pepsi for all of 2 bucks. The two that i used to buy the squares. My winnings went to waitress. 120% tip's not to bad. Oh, and i learned how to iron my clothes tonight. I need to look all good and professional at work. Hold on a second i've got a call. Its the Sandman i've got to......zzzzzzzzzzzz

Fuck you. Or don't. Oh no, definitely FUCK YOU. Whatever

The Bird

I need to start giving people the finger more. I don't use it nearly enough. Random thought I know, but stay with me. Its fun to do. People get exactly what you mean without having to say it. what kind of finger do you flip? I myself rock the thumb out when I flip it. I know some people go with the thumb tucked but it doesn't seem to be as emphatic of a fuck you. I may even work the double flip when i need an extra little somethin. So with two in the air I wish you all a good night and a good monday morning. Stick it to the man for me.


I'm just sayin

Roller Coaster of Love

I realized tonight after some discussion with friends that having sex with me is just like a roller coaster. Its kind of jerky, can make you sick, and only lasts for two minutes and ten seconds (and thats being generous). Then if you want to ride again you've got to wait an hour. I think from now on i'll start all fore play with this announcement :

"please unfasten your bra and panties, keep your arms and legs out of control, and secure all loose belonging. We'll see you back here in two minutes and ten seconds, and as always thank you for cumming on JT, america's roller coast."


I'm Just Sayin

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 80% Superman 75% Supergirl 75% Spider-Man 70% Robin 60% The Flash 60% Catwoman 55% Wonder Woman 50% Batman 45% Hulk 25% Iron Man 25%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

The Wisdom of my mentors

"If you don't talk to it you can't Fuck It"

Who says that? I guess i get the message. I need to be more outgoing and talkative with the ladies. I'm tryin, I'm just a bit shy. Damn, give a brother a break. "Fuck It, Or don't, Whatever"* See, I even quote my own sayings.




*copyright 2005, JT. The reusing of this quote without the express written permission of the author of the quote is subject to legal action. or at least quote me for Stu's sake.

Road Trip!!!!

I'd just like to say that I love it when a plan comes together. I wake up at 645 with a list of voice mails. i woke up in just enough time to shower and meet at jp's by 7. brian arrived soon after and we were off like a prom dress. we missed a few minutes of the game but thats what happens when spur of the moment road trips come up. To sum up the game, msu sucked in the second half and they lost. What matters is the trip not the destination. I learned a few things tonight. I learned that a van will fit through a tunnel meant for pedestrians only, I learned that arena seats are not meant for big people, I learned that there is nothing better than a late night QP w/chse, and I learned that I miss random road trips with the guys. Now its time to get LOST for a couple hours.

I get real bored at night

What do you do...............

.........when you hear rumors about people that are troubling. Do you seek answers? Do you just try not to give a shit? Do you second guess prior decisions? My initial reaction is to get really, really pissed. Then deeply hurt. Then pissed again. Then a mixture of 1 cup livid, 1 cup hurt, 1 cup "I'm an idiot", and then mix in a little "go fuck yourself" for good measure. Or hey, I could be wrong.


I'm just sayin

A vicious circle

I eat because I'm sad
I'm sad because I'm fat
I'm fat because I eat

Where was this when i needed it?

That the sky would lift
That I'd find my place
That I'd see your face in the door
And the sun would glint
An a time well spent
An a time that ain't no more

Taste the broken hearts
In the vacant lots
See the fruit that rots on the trees
Try to turn my head
Leave it all for dead
But it's in my mind always

Honey lately I've been way down
A load on my mind
Honey lately I've been way down
Load on my mind

Someone tell me where did it go
Darling I'm damned if i know
I seen that look in your eye
No-one ever gave it a chance
I could have said in advance
You saw it all at a glance
And goodbye

Like a fat kid playing dodgeball, i'm out. See you kids on sunday.

"For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move." -Robert Louis Stevenson

Oh, and by the way once again, like my forefathers before me, i have ventured into the land of the savages and made off with their buffalo and their women. But this time i didn't have to trade them fire water.

Roads go ever ever on

Where is my road going? North. First stop, the beautiful lakeside town of Frankfort for a visist with Dave and the fam. After that i'm not really sure. Theres plenty of road through this great state of ours. I think i just might try a few of them. My camera's been begging for some use and i think i'll give it to her. You never know, maybe she'll give me a few good ones. Now that that is settled lets find out what i've been up to as of late. Not really a whole lot i guess. Lots of late night web surfing and movie watching. I have also been studying for my certs. I guess its time i got my shit together. I guess goods things do come out of shitty situations. I think i might actually shave tonight. No more awful attempt at a dad beard. What can i say, i'm a late bloomer. I can't grow a beard to save my life. Sooner or later my balls will drop and my voice will deepen and i will become a man. Other than that all has been well. Lots of football, a trip to the Joe, almost being turned away trying to to cross the border back into the states, and pocket bullets. I've been playing cards a bit to much as of late. Not to mention i've seen rounders about a dozen times in the last few weeks. I think i'm going to take a run at it. My mind is clear and my game is tite. Lets see, i reloaded the ipod on saturday. I'm up to 15 gigs of music. not bad for a kid that didn't listen to music much before. there is however still a bunch of stuff that i need. My song of the day, Ben folds doing bitches aint shit. fucking brilliant. and now i leave with these words of wisdom, "Its immoral to let a sucker keep his money".

Oh, I know when to hold'em

Its amazing to me how good at cards i actually am. In 4 hours i managed to triple up. Not bad for a nights work. Finally i was able to actually have my head in the game and not somewhere else. Apparently I can shut my brain down to only concentrate on one thing at a time. I can control my ADD. Oh, is that something shiney over there...........five minutes later...............sorry, what was i talking about. Anyway I'm thinking of taking a road trip next weekend if anyone wants in. I'm off thursday thru sunday and need to get out of town for a while. Any Ideas?

First Pic of the New Year

Dusk At Woldumar
(I know it looks like one you've seen, but its a new high res shot i took this fall)

A fewThings I've learned this year

1. I am the most complacent person on the planet.
2. I hated my job for 12 full months and did nothing about it
2. I am not nearly as strong as I thought i was.
3. Things affect me a lot more than they used to.
4. I do have the ability to love
5. It is not true that if you don't use it, u lose it.
6. Life is much better with a soundtrack
7. All I really need are a few good friends
8. Some girls do fancy me, even though i'm a bit pudgy around the edges
9. I always no when to muck a losing hand at the table
10. 1 out and a 2% chance of winning is enough to see the river card in love
11. I love the two hour escape that a movie offers.
12. It is possible, if even for one incredible night, for life to be perfect, Worthy of a screenplay.
13. If you take enought pictures you will eventually have a few good ones.
14. I think my head has actually gotten bigger
15. I am fully able to rationalize anything to myself. It seems like a good idea at the time
16. I am so good at Ping Pong I'm almost Asian
17. My puppy will always love me, mostly because I feed her and scratch behind her ears

Next year I will........
1. Find a new job
2. Get my own place
3. not look for love because i hear things happen when you least expect them.
4. Learn to be more open
5. Take a lot more pictures
6. Take more roadtrips
7. Attempt to accomplish any or all of previous


Aut viam inveniam aut faciam - I will either find a way or make one