JT doesn't rake pots, he carries a tiny mexican lawn crew in his pocket that rakes them for him.

JT doesn't chew his food, he just re-raises it until the nutrients fold into his stomach.

Damn the MAN

Sorry folks i had to drop off the grid for a few months. I was being actively searched for by the man. Why you ask? Apparently if you don't pay a ticket they start looking for you. It was kind of exciting. NOT!! This is the first time i have ever had a bench warrant. thats pretty sweet. Also i was driving with a suspended license. If i would have gotten pulled over i was going to the pokey. But everythings cool now, i actually called and payed the ticket and got my license taken care of. I go away now, talk to ya in a month or so.

A good week for Sport

Team Bush League started its second season on monday the same way we started off last season, with a dramatic victory. Unlike last season we began monday's game with only 5 guys and one of them was a brabant. Its should be a good season. Our next game is on monday at 6:30. Come out and give us kids a little support, we will not disappoint. If nothin else we're definitely funny to watch.
On thursday my partner and i continued our dominance over the rest of the AF golf league. We killed our competion and took all six pts possible to get our lead up to 12. Oh, did i mention that i shot a 39. Pretty F'in sweet if i do say so myself. Thats 4 shots under my average. My partner also dropped in a solid 52, 8 shots under his avg., to help lead us to victory. I think i was probably low man for the whole day. Thats 44 golfers. Not bad huh.
Now i'll try to get through the weekend so i can get to monday night and hoop and then wait a couple more days for golf. I live my life 3 days at a time. In the meantime i'll watch a little world cup and some golf to help me get by.

In the Swing of things

So after three weeks in a row of rain outs in my golf league we have now played three straight weeks. With my handicap finally established I am now getting into the thick of the competition. Through 4 weeks of golf my partner and I are now in first place with 20 pts. I have not lost any pts yet. I have not always played that well but have always grinded out a win. This week they posted everyone's averages for scoring and for putting. I am currently 3rd in scoring with a handicap of 9. Not bad but I know it will get lower. Surprisingly I'm 2nd in putting. All in all not that bad. I'll keep you all posted as the season wears on.

Here's what i've been up to. I go to the bar and play on the internet. Thursday's i play golf. Thats about it. It bit said really but i have fun with it. i have recently discovered the world of podcasts. I have to say that they are pretty f'in sweet. The latest ones i've been listening to are Science friday (thnx for the idea hero) and mugglecast(i can't get enough harry potter). Other than that i've just been workin for the man, listening to my pod all day long.

RELATIVELY speaking

Ladies and gentlemen I am back. I told myself i wouldn't post again until i was able to do so while sitting at the bar. And here we are, i'm sitting at the bar watching some playoff hockey and posting on my brand new beautiful Macbook pro. It is possibly the most badass thing ever. Its pretty sweet so far, except for the fact i have no idea how to use it. So i guess i have no reason not to post anymore. As for now i'll return to ogling the waitress's and drinking my soda but stay tuned, there will be more to come.

Dear Mr. Roloson,

If your wondering where your jock is at, it somewhere near the right post. If you don't know who that guy was that made you lose it, he is number 40 and his name is Hank.


Oh, and I still hate Canada

and on the 18th day he rose again.....

No moved boulders, no shroud of turin, no appearing to a prostitute, its just me returning from blogger pergitory. Its not that i didn't want to post or didn't have time to post, its just that i didn't have anything good to say. I still don't have anything whitty or funny to share but at least i put something up here. thats a big step for me. My bloggers block may be over. Their will be more to follow. Stay tuned kids.


oh yeah, its a little known fact that jesus's right arm is 4 inches longer than his left. Next time you look at cross check it, the right side is always longer. Its true, i read in the bible so you can take it as gospel.

Entourage

I think its time i get my own entourage. you know why........cause thats how I roll

The Dark Side

I am going to do it. I never thought I would even consider it but here we are. Simple, elegant, but packing a shitload of power. Its pretty much my dream women, lady by day, temptress by night. Who would ever have thought i'd find that in a MAC. The bottom line is that for the purposes i have for this beeatch a pc just won't do the trick. I am now going to turn in my lightsaber for one of a more fitting color. Just remember kids, I am not the only one. There are always two, a master and an apprentice.

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

Even Flow

So I'm going to a concert. I didn't so much decide i wanted to go. Apparently an executive decision was made and it doesn't matter what i think. Its cool i guess. the concert should be a good time. Oh did i mention by the way that after i was told i had to go i was also told i have to shell out 53 bucks. Thats kind of like your mom having sex with me and then telling me i have to pay her for it. not that i haven't payed your mom for sex before but still.


"I'm just bitchin"

Not so Puppy anymore

My little girl's all grown up. You know how i know?
She's bleeding all over my house. Its kind of grossing me out.
Anyone have any midol i can borrow?

you tell me i don't post. you get post.
you want sunset you get sunset

Madness

Its been a while kids. There have been a multitude of reasons why i haven't posted in a while. I've been to tired from all the ass kickings i've taken on the hardwood(basketball court you jackoffs, do not insert gay comment), it could be the 3 nights a week i spend at franks watchin the wings, it could be the time i spend at the Y workin out and workin on my game, it could be i have absolutely nothing to say about anything, or it could just be that i'm just lazy. Now that my life will basically be consumed by march madness for the next couple weeks i figured i'd get a post in real quick.
4 hours, thats all it took to fuck up my brackets. Next year i'm letting a chicken do the picks for me. I am a bit disappointed that for the first time in five years i can't sit at the bar for 13 hours a day and watch hoop. I did get like five hours in tonight but its just not the same. And then tomorrow if i want to watch hoop i have to deal with the throngs of dipshits drinking green beer.
Seriously, were you born in ireland? Are you religious? Are you a complete dumbass? Who the fuck was St. Patrick and what good did he do for the world. If he was first to cultivate the potato or something i might give him some props but he didn't so fucking relax. I did however learn about the longstanding tradition of putting green foodcoloring in beer. I hear thats it actually a trick that Patty stole from jesus to amaze the townsfolk. If you'll all remember a little scene with JC fooling his buddies by dropping a little red coloring into his water and passing it off as wine.
I'm not real sure what the fuck i'm talking about so don't pay any attention. Go out and have your fun, drink your green beer, have random sex with a wee little man wearing a tophat, his hands smelling of cabbage, and who repeatedly asks you to search his pants and find his pot of gold. His name is andy. Bring it on fair lasses, line up to kiss my blarney stone.

I'm just sayin

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

Thats right kids. Team Bush-League is 1-0 with a 26-21 victory. My stat line is as follows 1-2 for 3pts., 4 rbds, 1ast, and 1to. Did i mention that i banked the 3ball. It all counts the same i guess. As of right now we are tied for first place. Enjoy the next week while we can boys cause it proabably won't last. They can't take this one away from us.

Bush-League

Tomorrow night at 8pm our journey to infamy begins. Get your tickets while they last. There hasn't been this much hype for a team of all-stars since barcenlona in '92. I can promise that we will not disappoint. I can promise these things about my game; , I will throw up an airball, I will make the most of the 6 fouls i have to give, I will dribble the ball off my own leg, I will not jump(mostly cause I can't), and I will shoot til i'm on so just give me the god damn ball.

The most awkward night of my life

So here's whats goin on. I decide its a good idea to visit with the millers after leavin claddaugh. I figure i could play a little cranium or play some cards and everything would be cool. Oh, was i ever fucking wrong. so were playin cards, everyone else is drunk, and then jayson and rachel decide they want to fight. Amy and i go in the back room to hang out and give them there space. Did i mention that at this point i'm wearing a size small women's wife beater that only comes down to my belly button. Oh and amy, who was wearing said wife beater is now in a bra. So amy's husband shows up and wants to talk to her. Now i'm stuck in the back room by myself wearing a beater schemeing on how i can get out without getting in anyones way. My t and the grampa sweater are on the counter in the dining room along with my keys. Even if i get my key's i can't leave cause someones psycho husband is blocking me in. I'm trapped. So what do i do. I decide to document this occasion for all to see. So much for not having anything to blog about. Fucking brilliant!!

I am trapped. I can't get out. They are coming.............