Even Flow

So I'm going to a concert. I didn't so much decide i wanted to go. Apparently an executive decision was made and it doesn't matter what i think. Its cool i guess. the concert should be a good time. Oh did i mention by the way that after i was told i had to go i was also told i have to shell out 53 bucks. Thats kind of like your mom having sex with me and then telling me i have to pay her for it. not that i haven't payed your mom for sex before but still.


"I'm just bitchin"

Not so Puppy anymore

My little girl's all grown up. You know how i know?
She's bleeding all over my house. Its kind of grossing me out.
Anyone have any midol i can borrow?

you tell me i don't post. you get post.
you want sunset you get sunset

Madness

Its been a while kids. There have been a multitude of reasons why i haven't posted in a while. I've been to tired from all the ass kickings i've taken on the hardwood(basketball court you jackoffs, do not insert gay comment), it could be the 3 nights a week i spend at franks watchin the wings, it could be the time i spend at the Y workin out and workin on my game, it could be i have absolutely nothing to say about anything, or it could just be that i'm just lazy. Now that my life will basically be consumed by march madness for the next couple weeks i figured i'd get a post in real quick.
4 hours, thats all it took to fuck up my brackets. Next year i'm letting a chicken do the picks for me. I am a bit disappointed that for the first time in five years i can't sit at the bar for 13 hours a day and watch hoop. I did get like five hours in tonight but its just not the same. And then tomorrow if i want to watch hoop i have to deal with the throngs of dipshits drinking green beer.
Seriously, were you born in ireland? Are you religious? Are you a complete dumbass? Who the fuck was St. Patrick and what good did he do for the world. If he was first to cultivate the potato or something i might give him some props but he didn't so fucking relax. I did however learn about the longstanding tradition of putting green foodcoloring in beer. I hear thats it actually a trick that Patty stole from jesus to amaze the townsfolk. If you'll all remember a little scene with JC fooling his buddies by dropping a little red coloring into his water and passing it off as wine.
I'm not real sure what the fuck i'm talking about so don't pay any attention. Go out and have your fun, drink your green beer, have random sex with a wee little man wearing a tophat, his hands smelling of cabbage, and who repeatedly asks you to search his pants and find his pot of gold. His name is andy. Bring it on fair lasses, line up to kiss my blarney stone.

I'm just sayin

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

Thats right kids. Team Bush-League is 1-0 with a 26-21 victory. My stat line is as follows 1-2 for 3pts., 4 rbds, 1ast, and 1to. Did i mention that i banked the 3ball. It all counts the same i guess. As of right now we are tied for first place. Enjoy the next week while we can boys cause it proabably won't last. They can't take this one away from us.

Bush-League

Tomorrow night at 8pm our journey to infamy begins. Get your tickets while they last. There hasn't been this much hype for a team of all-stars since barcenlona in '92. I can promise that we will not disappoint. I can promise these things about my game; , I will throw up an airball, I will make the most of the 6 fouls i have to give, I will dribble the ball off my own leg, I will not jump(mostly cause I can't), and I will shoot til i'm on so just give me the god damn ball.

The most awkward night of my life

So here's whats goin on. I decide its a good idea to visit with the millers after leavin claddaugh. I figure i could play a little cranium or play some cards and everything would be cool. Oh, was i ever fucking wrong. so were playin cards, everyone else is drunk, and then jayson and rachel decide they want to fight. Amy and i go in the back room to hang out and give them there space. Did i mention that at this point i'm wearing a size small women's wife beater that only comes down to my belly button. Oh and amy, who was wearing said wife beater is now in a bra. So amy's husband shows up and wants to talk to her. Now i'm stuck in the back room by myself wearing a beater schemeing on how i can get out without getting in anyones way. My t and the grampa sweater are on the counter in the dining room along with my keys. Even if i get my key's i can't leave cause someones psycho husband is blocking me in. I'm trapped. So what do i do. I decide to document this occasion for all to see. So much for not having anything to blog about. Fucking brilliant!!

I am trapped. I can't get out. They are coming.............

I post cause I can

Grape Ape

I Didn't know.....til after the deal was made

Apparently my driveway is now fully controlled by a North Korean man. I didn't even know until after the deal was made. I thought I was buying some chopsticks. Fuck It, I'm moving to F'ing Canada. Thats how ashamed I am of the current leadership. And I fucking hate Canada.

I Love BUSH!!!!!

The pussy, not the president



I'm Just Sayin

Raindance........

how does this sound, 6 guys years past their prime decide they need to recapture the glory years and strap on the sneakers again for a little hoop league at the Y. I can't even type about it without laughing. None of us has played ball in years. Unless you count jp playin with dudes balls. Regardless we're going to get absolutely killed on a regular basis. I welcome the chance to be posterized. Do I think we can win a game? Not a shot in hell but I definitely think we'll be funny to watch. We do have to come up with a team name. Any suggestions? I believe the season starts on Monday Feb. 27. Mark that day on your calender. I guarentee it'll be worth your while to come watch. We also could use a few playa's if anyones interested.

I'm just sayin

XL

What I thought would be an otherwise boring superbowl turned interesting when money got involved. I love squares. I missed the first quarter by a last second field goal by the bastard of a seahawk kicker. He did save me at the end of the half when he missed a 51 yarder to earn 25 bones for the second quarter. So the final breakdown is as follows: 9 hours at the bar, potato skins, burrito, and about 4 gallons of diet pepsi for all of 2 bucks. The two that i used to buy the squares. My winnings went to waitress. 120% tip's not to bad. Oh, and i learned how to iron my clothes tonight. I need to look all good and professional at work. Hold on a second i've got a call. Its the Sandman i've got to......zzzzzzzzzzzz

Fuck you. Or don't. Oh no, definitely FUCK YOU. Whatever

The Bird

I need to start giving people the finger more. I don't use it nearly enough. Random thought I know, but stay with me. Its fun to do. People get exactly what you mean without having to say it. what kind of finger do you flip? I myself rock the thumb out when I flip it. I know some people go with the thumb tucked but it doesn't seem to be as emphatic of a fuck you. I may even work the double flip when i need an extra little somethin. So with two in the air I wish you all a good night and a good monday morning. Stick it to the man for me.


I'm just sayin

Roller Coaster of Love

I realized tonight after some discussion with friends that having sex with me is just like a roller coaster. Its kind of jerky, can make you sick, and only lasts for two minutes and ten seconds (and thats being generous). Then if you want to ride again you've got to wait an hour. I think from now on i'll start all fore play with this announcement :

"please unfasten your bra and panties, keep your arms and legs out of control, and secure all loose belonging. We'll see you back here in two minutes and ten seconds, and as always thank you for cumming on JT, america's roller coast."


I'm Just Sayin

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 80% Superman 75% Supergirl 75% Spider-Man 70% Robin 60% The Flash 60% Catwoman 55% Wonder Woman 50% Batman 45% Hulk 25% Iron Man 25%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

The Wisdom of my mentors

"If you don't talk to it you can't Fuck It"

Who says that? I guess i get the message. I need to be more outgoing and talkative with the ladies. I'm tryin, I'm just a bit shy. Damn, give a brother a break. "Fuck It, Or don't, Whatever"* See, I even quote my own sayings.




*copyright 2005, JT. The reusing of this quote without the express written permission of the author of the quote is subject to legal action. or at least quote me for Stu's sake.

Road Trip!!!!

I'd just like to say that I love it when a plan comes together. I wake up at 645 with a list of voice mails. i woke up in just enough time to shower and meet at jp's by 7. brian arrived soon after and we were off like a prom dress. we missed a few minutes of the game but thats what happens when spur of the moment road trips come up. To sum up the game, msu sucked in the second half and they lost. What matters is the trip not the destination. I learned a few things tonight. I learned that a van will fit through a tunnel meant for pedestrians only, I learned that arena seats are not meant for big people, I learned that there is nothing better than a late night QP w/chse, and I learned that I miss random road trips with the guys. Now its time to get LOST for a couple hours.

I get real bored at night